How it feels to be at home

Argh.

I felt so freakin' bored at home today. Didn't go anywhere. I thought, "Why not just stay at home for the whole day today, since I've been going out the last few days? Rest at home, and recharge!"

Turned out to be really bad. Felt as tho I was being crushed under a huge pile of rocks.

GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

Argh.

And to be missing someone and not being able to see that person: just sucks - very badly.

It's like hitting rock bottom, falling into a bottomless pit, hit by a truck: all rolled up in one.

How it feels to be evaluated

It feels quite weird after 8 years of not going for music exams or anything of that sort.

Yes, it was my audition that gave me that same ol' feeling again. I remember sitting outside in a waiting room (or rather, a corridor with seats lined on the wall), holding my breath for that moment, the moment of truth, being evaluated of what you've learnt throughout the whole year of preparations. Then, you get into that thick and hard wooden door, and the first thing you see is either a stern-looking examiner with grey or white hair, or a young one who looks really friendly (but looks can be deceiving). After a few more steps forward, after you have greeted the examiner a good morning (or afternoon, for that matter), there, erected stiffly right in front of the examiner's desk: a black piano which decides your very fate of the day, whether good or bad.


Not to forget the bloody coldness of that examination venue that creates an unwanted atmosphere to add on to your long list of what-if's and why-not's. Especially if your hands are affected by the cold, your warmth suddenly freezes over hell, and your hands stop working like normal movable parts; that should be enough to knock you off your seat and bump your head on the floor, enough to bring you into a coma.

Seriously, I really can't see myself in this scenario ever again, especially when I've made it really clear that I didn't believe in anymore music exams... I'm certainly wrong this time. =.="

Anyway, it's been fun. Hope to entertain a small percentage of you's with my horrible short-story writing (if there even exists at least one faithful reader).


PS: It's been a while since I've been so descriptive. Apologies for any wrongly-used euphamism (if there exists ANY) and weird-sounding adjectives. =P

When panicking leads to nowhere...

What happens if you worry too much, think too much, panick too much? ...

...you just don't bother worrying/thinking/panicking anymore.

But I have to admit, it was heart-attack-inducing anymore. =)

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When art fails to impress, I'm guessing the only way to a world of imagination filled with endless colourful possibilities: is a dead end.


So what I'm basically saying is: it's not the artist's fault. Everything done by the artist is open to interpretation. And you can't really blame the artist for being shallow/emotionless/boring. But there are exceptions when it's really not even interpretable. (Damn I'm mean.)

What I'm actually referring to are all aspects of art, ie, dance, fine art, sculpting, music, etc.

Recently, I've been attending a lot of these galleries and performances. (Yes, it has been a jam-packed schedule that even my friends hate me for not allocating some time to even talk to them on the phone.) Just yesterday, I went for a Butoh festival show titled "Butoh Noise".

Bunch of Butoh Dancers. Amazing, aren't they?

It was definitely an event that made me bleed in my ears and eyes. And I meant it in a good way.

G: "It was so horrible that I felt like standing up on my own two feet, grabbing my chair, and throwing it at the artist."
N: "Well, to me, it felt normal. I couldn't picture anything, but it was fine for me, since there wasn't any pitches above my tolerance level."

Very well said indeed. Summarised in just three sentences.

But I have to admit, the butoh dancer was extremely nimble. Bravo!

Blown to dust

Ever had the feeling that you've finally had something materialising in your hands, but suddenly a wind blew over, and that tangible object dematerialises into dust and slips through your fingers?

I'm tired of hoping.

I'm tired of frustration over myself.

I'm tired of waiting...

Nothing in this world is as perfect as you would want it to be. No matter how much you try, how much you press it down and hold it in form.

Someone. Please help me.

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It baffles me that sometimes people tell you to strike while the iron's hot, and turns around and say, "Go with the flow, and take it slow."

Some may think these two statements are the same things, interrelated. To me, it's the same, but with totally different meanings.

Heart-attack-inducing experience

To cut a long story short, I now have a newfound respect for parents of teenagers on guiding their children through their journey on becoming well-mannered, civilised and humble adults.

Especially driving.

Heart-attack happens every so often

To indulge, or not to indulge: THAT'S the question

Buffets.

Food Galore... Bask yourself in a variety of colourful food (...you'll soon regret)

How many of you have even been to a buffet? I'm sure at least 90% of you have been to at least one buffet in you're lifetime.

BUT: How many of you would eat like it's nobody's business, not think about the ACTUAL capacity of your stomach, and eat until its finally worth the price you're paying for? Hands up if you're one of them.

*raises hand up slowly, centimetre by centimetre*

I tell you... NEVER go there on an empty stomach, and NEVER E-V-E-R think that if you stuff yourself like a you want to send yourself to the oven like a stuffed pigeon or turkey, you'd come out of the restaurant feeling proud of yourself.

This is exactly how I felt. (A pic which isn't as disgusting as the ones I found off the net. Eww..)