A visit to Stratford-upon-Avon

OK, so I was supposed to visit that place since the last Wednesday, since the trip is actually part of the orientation programme in the University (yes folks, im in the university now, and yes, its in UK. isnt it fun?! argh...). So I didn't go. So what! I had to wait for my best friend to arrive in the university, as it was open day that day. I was delighted to see her then. Too bad she thought I was not happy to see her.. Sighs..

The university life hasnt really officially started yet, but I'm starting to get hyped up for the life here. It's been nice to meet various kinds of people, well, as in personalities (duh!). They're overall very friendly, although there's something bout me that I don't think they like, which is me being a boring person who doesn't go about clubbing and partying - stuff like that.

So back to the chase: We (me and a friend who my best fren knows, yes, the relationship is complicated, but its not tt complicated at all) were supposed to go on Saturday and return on Sunday (we're supposed to stay for a night at my best friend's house), but due to unforeseen consequences, we were unable to make it on Saturday (long story), but we went today instead.

The morning started off like any other. I woke up, blah blah blah.. Too bad I had to go down to check how the heck we were supposed to make it to Stratford. Damn, the journey was complicated, sorta. We had to take the bus to Leamington Spa, then take a train from there to Stratford. We returned the same way. The bus journey wasn't that bad. The most interesting journey was actualy on the train. I got to see the countryside, with a lot of sheep (yes, i didn't know they had SO many sheep here too.. hahaha). During the return trip on the train, I got to see BLACK sheep. That reminded me of that old nursery rhyme. Seriously, till now, when I recalled that scene that I saw then, that song would just pop out from my head. Hahaha!

So, at Stratford, it was a pity we didn't have much time to go into Shakepeare's birthplace, furthurmore, it was raining and later found out myself that it was quite expensive to tour around that area (about 6 pounds, i think). We had disgusting fish and chips (i'm not despising their 'national' food, but really, that shop didn't do a good job about their cooking. but i still finished the food, not like my peers). After that, we went over to Morrisons to have a look (dont know whether I spelt that right), and straight back to her house. The house was damn right far, but the house was lovely. It was a corner house, kinda like a bungalow to me, with distinct rooms. The rooms themselves look very new and simple. Kinda like my accommodation now too. I would like to live there.. Hehe.. So, we had chats with her housemates, good laughs, got to know each other better. It was fun.

Oh, almost forgot, straight after I got back to the campus, I saw my room lit. I knew my room mate had arrived finally (i didn't have a room mate the week before, well, since the start of orientation). So I actually rushed up the stairs to see who it was. Well, I was kinda disappointed to see it was a malay sharing a room with me, but I later realised he's really friendly and nice, someone who is quite interesting too. So if you're reading this, don't take me too seriously. I didn't have good impressions on malays. Sorry.. Well, maybe if I get to know you more, I may consider about having more malay friends, ya? haha..

But anyway, I think I got to go now. I'm kinda really tired from the trip I had today. So cya!

PS: I'll make sure I'll keep you guys updated with my news ya!

Listening to Mika Nakashima’s Hitori. The exact word to describe myself when I get to England. Gosh, I just realised how bad it would feel leaving friends and my family back here, not being able to see them again.

Tonight, I was being treated to a Chinese meal nearby my place by my uncle. It was so stomach filling that I think I’m about to throw up soon… I had 2 bowls of rice too, considering I don’t usually eat so much. Maybe it’s because of yesterday’s buffet which made me so hungry that I could swallow a cow… Haha! I was that hungry today though. However, tonight’s dinner was supposed to be a treat by my grandmother, but I originally did not want her to treat me, as she is a dependant, and she had already given me an ang pow as a sign of good luck for my studies. Luckily, my uncle snatched the opportunity to treat me instead.

You should laugh at me at this. I came back home, showered and dressed in my pajamas, casually came online to check out some stuff that I’d need to know when I get to the UK. I suddenly got a phone call after about 1 hour from the violin teacher who works in the music school saying that he is just right outside of my house. I suddenly realised we were supposed to go out to have dinner (that can’t be it. I just had dinner!). So I rushed back to my room and put on the same clothes that I wore out for dinner, flew down the stairs, and out the door, of course letting my grandma know that I’m going out with them. I was thinking. I remembered the violin teacher told me that it was supposed to be Wednesday; it can’t be today! But it turned out to be today! Can you believe me?? Haha!

There were five of us, one of them my piano teacher, and the others also piano teachers but considered my ‘friends’ as we were very friendly towards each other. We went to Secret Recipe @ Midvalley. We didn’t order much though, but we had fun talking to each other, some asking me about my studies over there, and happily enjoying the food and drinks that we ordered. On the way back, somewhere near my house (I was the first one to leave), my piano teacher gave me an ang pow, with best wishes and regards. I felt so touched. The others told me to keep in touch and study hard. Although the ang pow wasn’t personally made by her (my best friend got it), I was happy that I got to spend a night with them all.

Yes, it was fun. That was the kind of meet up I was looking for. I enjoyed every since second of it. I smiled all the way. That was the kind of feeling I wanted to get, a feeling of familiarity, closeness and maturity. I won’t forget the moments that I had, and will have, with friends who gave me an impression that they do care for me, they do know that I exist. I’m happy that I have friends who are real, and not those who turn their backs at you and backstab you for no reason (or at least not knowing what you have done to upset another).

Thank you for what you have done for me.

A refreshing hi-tea with loved ones

Yep, a treat from my aunt. Not much to eat though, but I had fun. I felt the closeness of the family that I wanted the most.

What I was so surprised today was that there was a small band of 2 guitarists, a double bass player and a shaker-cum-singer, came to our table and asked what song they should sing for us... We didn't say anything, but they decided to sing "Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin" (The moon represents my heart). They sounded very nice, although they were not chinese. Very soothing.

Overall, I had fun. I too had some eye-feasting today (wen, u know wat im talking bout right? *wink*).

Speaking of meal treats, I got a few more from my mom and my sis. The idea of treating me nice meals before I leave was from my mom. But the first one to treat me was my sis. She brought us to Dome, and I had so much to finish, as none of my family members were big-eaters, except me (hehe). Just 2-3 days ago was my mom's turn. I took her to a japanese restaurant so that I could let her try out how sea-urchin sashimi tastes like. She loved it... So happy! Hehe...

A day out with long forgotten friends

Yes, the title says it all. And no, it's not at all that fun. I was looking forward to a better outing with my school friends, who were supposed to be my really really good friends...

The day started quite well. I ended up getting really bad scolding from my mom, and both of us were crying... Well, I don't wanna talk about that. I had thoughts about the meeting. I remember the day before when i saw a guy who used to be a good friend of mine (betrayal) online. I asked him whether he knew about the outing today. He said yes. I don't recall him saying that the purpose of this meet up was for me as I am about to leave for UK. Instead, he told me he hadn't seen another friend of mine (she asked me out first) for quite some time, so that was shy he was going. I didn't feel happy then.

So I was thinking about going. He was the reason why I didn't wanna go today. I had doubts about going. After the fight that I had with my mom, I told her I didn't wanna go. I was sure. It was my mom who told me that I should go, as they had the sincerity of asking me to go out and seeing me. I should not cancel the meet.

I gave in. I had to go. After countless times of rejecting offers of hanging out with them, I can't say no now. Furthurmore, I really missed the one who asked me out.

I got there early. I was expecting a call, instead of me waiting at their designated place of meet up. I walked around, window shopped a bit. However, no call. So I decided to go there instead. There, I met him. Then my pet sister. Then her. Yes, just 4 of us.

The things that they talked about was out of my league. I had completely no idea what they were talking about. And in most of their conversations, I either laughed a bit at their jokes, or sat there dumbfounded, not saying anything. I noticed she asked me why I was so quiet, for maybe about 4 to 5 times today, although I didn't tell her what the reason was. I felt very uncomfortable around them. They were in their own world, and I was alone in my own world. And moreover, I noticed, most of the time, everything was focused on his stuff, not mine, though I thought the idea of this meet up was for me, not for him. I didn't want to complain. I was happy to see her, and that was all I asked for.

I'm starting to realise that I am not fit to be their friends anymore. I felt a strange separation in between us, like I am one magnet, and all three of them one magnet, both facing each other with the 'like' sides.

I received a message from a good friend of mine, a classmate since form4 and A levels and also going to the UK, saying that she wanted me to attend a farewell lunch. At the sound of that, I thought at first it was for me. I thought it was so nice of her to ask me out, to see me. But in the last message, she then told me it was her's, not mine. I got so depressed.

I started to ask myself: Who am I to all these people? Am I a someone, or a nobody? I figured it as the latter. No body understood me. The thought that kept me going was to believe in myself, and not get pulled down by people who despise me, who doesn't care about me. I've learnt how to be strong, and I will be strong.

My idea of an outing is just very simple. I went out with a friend of mine who I just known not long ago, in the theory of driving class. I've kept in touch with her, but I had not been able to see her since then. She popped a message in my mobile, asking whether I was free to go out and 'yum cha' with her. I said sure, since no one was at home, and I'm sure it was purely because of my departure. We had an exciting talk over a drink and "mee goreng"-s, and she also came over to my house, wanting to listen to me play the piano as she was unable to attend the last concert. I was happy to know she really wanted to see me perform, and I was happy to show her. I had fun.

Well, I am speechless now. I have nothing else to say. I hope my life would turn out to be better someday. Even the smallest of things that can make me smile and remind me that being alive on this puny earth is all worth it, the hard work I put into everything was all worth it. That's all I ask for...